Today went quite well:)
I respected the diet (low carbohydrate, more protein and lots of vegetables) and I finally started studying so I say seriously, but decent. Three hours straight in front of books with good concentration, I'd say I can not complain.
Later I do a lot of things, including going to the post office, shopping, going to the gym, cooking, studying, attention to diet, go to a night in which he plays a guy I know. The menu today includes fruit juice, lentils, tea and tea time, an apple ... and then boh. Not I want to eat outside the home. I'm terrified of what I could swallow. Kebab? 1000 calories. Chinese? Also, since I can not take just a soup and the second. Mac? 1200. Pizza? Same. Horse meat sandwich or hamburger? 700. If I have to eat out just take a sandwich with grilled vegetables (400 calories most, are many but I will try to make eating a lot 'to him) that I took in that space last year, and a Coke Zero. I'm with him enormously and I'm ashamed to drink that stuff in front of other people but I need to fill your stomach.
In truth I did not really want to leave the house at this time ... but I am forced to do so. I know that if I allow myself to defeat dall'agorafobia and apathy will come to feel bad as before and to have the fear of anything, and then force me to go out, see people, and also to meet new people. I have a hard time this last thing, but in a way it's liberating, because the new people it is easier to self-invent the way you want to be. For example I am fearful and pessimistic, yet the people I have known for a year now, especially the latest, see me as someone strong, positive, strong. And give this image of me helps me to be, at least, it makes me strive to be.
Have a good night:)
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